" It’s amazing how words can do that, just shred your insides apart. "
by Lauren Oliver, Delirium (via sippinpurple)

(Source: larmoyante, via themisspolly)

If my friend remembers to feed us we eat if he doesn’t we starve until the next day, I’m raising 3 orphans and 2 siblings. I still manage to exercise but I need food. I paid my savings for a new rental property. Dante is depressed and it’s killing me. My parrot is with me whenever I go and he gives me the strength I need for now. My sister just did the most selfless thing and sold the puppy I got her so she assists for the month upfront rent. She doesn’t complain about food even though she’s starving and my other sister is being really obedient and cooperative as well. I’m about to cry but I shouldn’t, one of the orphans broke down in my arms yesterday at 1 am because he was listening to a song that reminded him of parents and how he never felt a mothers touch or a fathers scold. I held the weeping 10 year old today while I watched her grandmother beat her up and now I’m watching her smile and fix herself in front of me. I had child protection call me today because my mother told then she wants me to pay her the 80$ she spent on my sisters 2 days ago. I know nothing about my other siblings but I hope they’re happy. We still need 800$ to pay for the month upfront and we get the rental on Monday if we have that money otherwise there’s 9 people living in one room. One of them gets mistreated by her fiancé and it hurts me like daggers piercing my heart, he’s an orphan he doesn’t know love and she came to me after abuse and assaults on her young soul but she’s so loving it kills, I hope one day her fiancé understands what love is and shows it to someone he cares about, I want her to know she’s amazing and she can do whatever she wants in life. But what can you do when you’re born into a broken family?

My sister just cut her hair for the first time in 15 years and as the hair dresser cut it I saw every single childhood memory fall with the strand. I saw my mums reflection smoking through the kitchen widow after my fathers beatings, i saw my sisters smile when she got her first toy and the lump I got after she accidentally lunged it at me. I saw her first day of kindergarten and the layout of her crayons. Her long hair was so nourished and taken care of in those memories, it’s ironic because it was cut for the exact opposite reasons. I saw the sadness in her eyes as the hairdresser cut it inch by inch and I could’ve swore I’ve never seen eyes as eager to turn back time as hers.

Dante got stolen and I’m contacting all the thieves In the area
Whoever stole him is dead meat
I’m crying and so stressed out but whoever stole Dante is so done so so done

Paying rent and bills????? Taking care of 3 children?????? And a dog????? when did this happen to me I didn’t sign up for this???!!!!

It’s okay I’m calm I’m not stressed and angry and upset and feel like crying because I get yelled out by everyone it’s okay it’s okay I’m okay I’m fine I’m not gonna cry cuz I’m strong

Also today my boss asked why I have the saddest eyes he’s ever seen and I broke down like an idiot
The customers were so curios and I had to put a fake smile on and I was so scared

I’m drained
I found a full time job and I’ve been at it for a week now and I’m so tired and everyone keeps asking if I’m husseins daughter and who the heck is he and omfg I’m stressing out so much

I’m taking care of a kitten and a puppy because both of those friends had fights with their parents and can’t keep their pets so I finally got accepted into a bungalow and Dante is always on guard mode and I’m taking care of the other two, however I can’t be fucked with puppies honestly she keeps crying and she peed on my mattress basically the only thing I have she freaking peed on! The kitten on the other hand is adorable